Scene 1:

Red who is in the basement- 39, 40, 41, 42 ah ha I knew they didn’t look quite right!…ERIC
Eric (upstairs)- Yeah dad?
Red- Down here now!
Eric runs down and salutes
Eric- Sir yes sir
Red- True or false, yesterday I had 43 nails in this pot?
Eric- True?
Red- No, false. Did you take my nail?
Kitty comes down from upstairs
Kitty- Really Red, what is he going to do? Nail his hand to a table or something?
Red- It’s happened
Kitty and Eric sigh loudly
Eric- Funny, no dad, I haven’t seen the nail (mumbling) or the hammer.
Red- What was that? How’d you know about the hammer?
Eric- What hammer?
Kelso walks in
Kelso- Eric man, thanks for letting me borrow Red’s hammer!
Kelso walks straight into the room past the Forman’s and to the fridge not seeing Red or Kitty.
Red- You’re welcome Kelso!
Kelso- Dude Eric man, every day you sound more and more like your dad! What’s on TV.
At that moment Jackie struts in
Jackie- MICHAEL!
Kelso- Hide!
Ducks down out of sight
Jackie- Oh hey Mr. and Mrs. Forman, how’s it going?
Kelso- Oh man!
Jackie- You’re an idiot Michael
Red- Hammer Kelso
Red sticks out his hand waiting for the hammer at the same moment Donna flings herself in the doorway.
Donna- I had the worst day like first of all…hi Mrs. Forman I’m gonna get out of here!
Kitty- Don’t bother sweetie we were just leaving, right Red?
Red- What about my nail?
Kitty- Come on and if you complain about a nail one more time, I’m going to make you eat a whole bag of them.
From outside…Hello mother, how is the cow? How is the father? When did you get one of these machines, which ring?
All- Fez?
Donna opens the door and peaks out
Donna- Yep!
Jackie- Michael we really need to talk
Kelso- What about? I thought we talked yesterday!
Jackie- What? You call me talking while you play pinball at the café? I don’t think so!
Kelso- I got the highest score ever!
Eric- I hate to ruin this moment but I beat that 78 score last night with a 156!
Donna smiles at Jackie as if to say ‘ha ha’
Kelso- Man…Jackie, do you want to go grab a shake and burger with me at the café? We can talk while we eat!
Jackie- Not if your going to waste $46.00 which could have been spent on me playing pinball!
Kelso- No way! Me never!
Fez enters still holding onto a black hand phone
Fez- Eric, how do I hang up?
Eric- I don’t know, what is that?
Fez- It is a cellular phone! I have never seen one before now!
Eric- I have never seen one ever, I don’t think they’re invented until 1989 Fez, that’s a fake!
Donna- Were you really talking to your parents?
Fez- Yes, they were just so shocked they weren’t answering!
Donna- Did they even say hello?
Fez- No
All- You’re an idiot Fez.
Kelso- Yes, they moved off of me!
All- You too!
Kelso- Oh man! Well, I’m going to the Café, whose with me?
Fez- Me!
Jackie- No Michael we need to talk
Kelso- Okay Fez, guess what the ice-cream man is outside here is eight cents, make sure you ask for spinach nice and clear this time.
Fez- Oh goodie
Fez runs out and Kelso drags Jackie up the stairs to exit out of the front door
Donna- They have to stop doing that to him
Eric- Hey look, we are all alone again
Donna- This is too weird, I’m leaving
Eric- And then there was one

Scene 2: (outside on driveway were Eric and Hyde are playing B-ball)

Hyde- Hey Eric, do you think that Donna’s at her house?
Eric- Probably, why?
Hyde- Dude, you don’t even now where your own girlfriend is?
Eric- Stop calling her my girlfriend Hyde, she’s been my friend for 12 ½ years so I don’t think that girlfriend would best sum her up!
Hyde (smiling)- So, your not going out?
Eric- Well yeah…but
Hyde- If your going out she’s your girlfriend
Red (appears)- Eric, can I speak to you for a moment?
Eric- Sure dad, this topic was getting to weird for me anyway!
Hyde- Bye man…hey do you mind if I stay and practice my game a little?
Eric- Sure but why, you hate basketball.
Hyde- But Donna doesn’t!
Eric- No…Hyde, no
Red- Eric, now
Eric- Coming dad
Red- Over here please son
Eric (walks off towards garage)- What’d you want dad?
Red- Nothing, I just didn’t want you hanging out with that freaky kid with the weird curly hair.
Eric- Dad, he’s my friend
Red- Well then be normal and go hang out with the rich girl, what’s her name?
Eric- I have two questions dad, one…when are you going to learn my friends names, and two, can I go play ball again.
Red- Never and Sure.
Hyde- Hey Eric, why you back so soon?
Eric- Red didn’t have anything to say…
Hyde- okay…umm you have weird parents
Eric- Duh!

Scene 3 (Eric’s Basement)
Donna- We sit here every day of our lives thinking of something to do
All- So…
Donna- It’s so incredibly boring and we always do it.
Kelso- Donna, its either that or going to the Hub and playing pinball…*thinking, Hey, I’m outta here
Jackie- Michael, can’t you do anything without going to Hub and playing that stupid pinball game
Kelso- No…
Jackie- LOSER
Donna- Can’t you two get through a day without fighting?
Fez- What are you, insane?
Donna- Whatever, I’m going
Kitty (from upstairs)- Eric, its time for dinner
Eric- Well guess what guys?
Kelso- Its time for dinner?
Eric- Yes, but it also means you have to get out of my basement
Fez- Oh, but it’s the only place with a TV
Hyde- No, my house has a TV Fez.
Kelso- Yeah, so does mine
Jackie- We have tons of TV’s
Fez- Oh monkey, why couldn’t my parents have chosen one of your families to “foreign exchange” me with?
Hyde- You mean Rod and Elma don’t have a TV Fez?
Fez- Rod? Elma? Who are them?
Jackie- Your part time parents Fez, the ones you live with
Fez- You mean mom and dad?
Jackie- If that what you call them!
Fez- Why wouldn’t I?
Kelso- Because they aren’t your real parents
Fez- WHAT?
Jackie (rolling her eyes)- FREAK!
Eric- Good Bye
Kelso- Where you going man?
Eric- Umm, your leaving
Kelso- Why?
Jackie- Why do you have such a short term memory?
Kelso- Okay, you just said like 3 really big words and I have no idea what they mean.
Eric- Kelso, short, term, and memory aren’t long.
Kelso- Memory is…
Jackie- Its only like (counts fingers) 6 letters long
Kelso- Well its 6 letters to long
Every one leaves…