Victoria Kitts
RLA
October 2, 1999

Mary Sue

As Carol Riche parked her Mercedes, which was the color of a ripe strawberry, by the ‘You Need to be Rich’ Day Center she heard a loud voice yell, “My mummy says I’m special and everybody loves me” This was followed by a scream. Carol rolled her eyes and went to collect her little monster of a child. There she stood, three feet nine inches tall with pink flushed cheeks and tear- filled eyes. Her silky red pajamas with brown and cream teddy bears on them were creased and rumpled from naptime. Naturally her caramel colored hair was perfect in a pair of braids perched high upon her head. “Mummy…” She shrieked, her nose creasing up like a bunny’s. The brat ran towards Carol. As she reached the mats she fell flat on her face screaming as she plunged towards the floor. -SNAP- Her lollypop broke in two.
“Aguhhh”, she yelled in disgust, “ Who left their stupid sleeping mat on the floor. Mrs. Rodreguez and Mrs. Tompson her teachers looked at each other and laughed.
“What is humperdinkum so funny?” Mary Sue demanded.
“Well you see dear” Mrs. Rodreguez started, before Carol rudely cut her off.
“Come on Angel, it’s time for your daily manicure.” Mary Sue pulled herself up with a ‘hmffff’ and started to gather up the items in her cubby, marked Queen Riche with masking tape, her twenty-two silver bracelets clanking together.
“Mumsy, are we going over to Aunt Hillary’s and Cousin Chelsea’s for tea?”
“I’m afraid not dumpling, but we are going over to Mr. Gates’ house so that he and daddy can talk business.”
As the two, left arm in arm, Mrs. Rodreguez couldn’t help laughing again.
“No, I want pink! Hello!?! This is the nineties!”
The beautician nodded her head, thinking about the five colors earlier in the week. purple, blue, orange, green, and brown…they were all colors of the nineties according to Mary Sue. So the beautician applied three coats of pink to each of her tiny nails while Mary Sue happily sucked on her lollypop. Her nails, now the color of a sweet rose, shone in the light as they walked past all the stores stopping at almost every one. Just as they were leaving, Mary Sue saw it, the teddy she had always wanted…well for today anyway.
“Mummy this is an absolute must have,” the six year- old said, as if she were thirty.
“Button Nose, let’s go home and play with the nine dollies we bought yesterday and that bunny you were so attached to for all those years. Scuzzy, was that the silly things name?” Carol said as she tried to lead Mary Sue away from the five foot $900 teddy bear.
“No no no no no no no no! Screamed the child,” I will simply die if I don’t get this.”
Carol remembered back to earlier in the week when Mary Sue would have died if she didn’t get the $10,000 pony that had once belonged to a famous riding midget, but was now simply a poor, old, boney thing that was on one of the one-hundred acres of their home. Then there was the violin that she simply had to have because Chelsea Clinton had one. They finally made it back to their Mercedes, parked in the lot marked “MOST FREQUENT SHOPPER” and drove the twenty miles back to their mansion in Beverly Hills Mary Sue sucking on her lollypop the whole way.
“Sweetie, tell Mummy what you’re going to do when we get home!”
“I’m going to play with my airplane I got for my birthday and fly to Washington DC like Daddy does every Sunday when he goes to visit Uncle Bill.”.”
This was not the answer Carol was looking for… “But what about the teddy we just bought?”
Mary Sue looked confused “No, I want to fly, not play with that dumb, old, boring teddy.”
As Carol popped a couple of Advil into her mouth she felt as if her brain had cracked in two. She turned onto Rodeo Drive. This was a big mistake. “STOP” came a voice as loud as steam engine.
“Unbuckle me.” Carol kept driving, “Didn’t I make myself clear?” yelled the six year old jabbing her feet into the back of Carol’s seat. -SCREETCH- Carol slammed on the breaks.
“Thank you...” Mary Sue, said politely, “ Now, Unbuckle me”
Four hours later Carol, Mary Sue, two dogs, a kitten, and a giant teddy bear returned home.
“ Rosie ” Mary Sue screamed making the tiny creature in her arms jump, “Milk for my kitty and food for the dogs.”
Rosie was a short, slim, seventeen-year-old girl from Mexico who had been relocated to the United States by the Riche’s. They had even arranged for her to come over in a Chicken Cargo box so that no one would notice. She appeared from the kitchen wearing an apron and chef hat with, ‘I love Mary Sue’ written on both.
“Hmmm W-what about food for the donkey marm…?”
“Pony, Rosie, learn some English why don’t you?” she yelled. Rosie turned as white as a ghost, embarrassed by her mistake, shrugged and ran off to get some food for the kitten, dogs, and the pony. Mary Sue paced up and down the long foyer waiting for her father to come home. Up, down, up, down. Then she heard the familiar sound of the charcoal BMW that her father owned as it purred up the cobbled driveway. She ran outside to show her father her newest manicure and makeover, but being her usual clumsy self she stumbled again, getting dust all over her pajamas.
“DADDY, she screamed, “I want to take horse- riding lessons NOW.” Mary Sue really had no intention of learning to ride but she didn’t want her father to see that she had tripped over her feet.
“Alright, Munchkin, I’ll make the arrangements and I’ll fly some horse trainer out here to train Polo as soon as I can. Now hurry along and ask Rosie to get you some jodhpurs and ask Manuel to set up an arena in the back garden.”
Mary Sue looked taken back, she hadn’t the faintest idea who Manuel was. “Umm…Papa who is Manuel?”
“Oh didn’t we tell you dear…a few years ago Jose died so we had to import another Mexican gardener. “
A few hours and a couple of million dollars later, a riding arena was set up and the boney pony transformed into a beautiful elegant ride-able horse. Mary Sue of course was still in her pajamas working on her next project. Instead of asking for jodhpurs she had asked for gophers and was now assembling a maze for them. Sitting under the oak tree with her was Scuzzy her beloved bunny, which she never left behind and her baby blanket folded on her lap. Carol was nowhere to be seen and Rosie could have been anywhere, most probably lost in one of the many wings of their home. This was normal for the Riche’s because they were the richest family in Beverly Hills and so they were allowed to squander their money and get lost without anyone giving a care. For the Riche’s money was an essential just like food and shelter.
As for Mary Sue she grew up to be queen of the world since her father could pay for all the world changes. Before her world title she had been President of the United States of America, Queen of England and a Russian Czar, but the amazing thing is…she accomplished all this before the age of seven and by eight she was a pretty normal kid with VERY messed up parents.