Brian Seery
RLA

A long time ago when I wasn’t known as the “ Brick pig” and known, as Porky there was a long event that happened to me. It is now known as the 3 Little pigs. The story that you people believe in is true but it didn’t go the same way as in the books. People have changed the story because no one was actually there to witness it but the pigs and the wolves. Humans don’t understand that pigs are smarter than they are. We pigs have bigger brains and every hour grow thousands of brain cells. They don’t know that what they do to us we do to them and that’s why sometimes people don’t know why they find dead bodies lying on a trail in the woods. We are not gross and eat other live things. It’s sick to slaughter something alive and then eat it. The only thing that they do that we don’t is clone. We feel that cloning is stupid and can ruin the world because you splice genes together. Each day pigs get smarter and by the end of the year 2010 pigs will be in control of the world. Humans shouldn’t be working on whatever they’re wasting there time on they should be working on getting freedom after the year 2010. Whoever changed the story definitely edited it for little kids cause the real thing was more like a horror story. You’re probably asking what we eat. We eat vegetable, grass and a lot more stuff.
Any way I’ll talk more about that later and now I’ll tell you about the real story of the 3 little pigs.
Well it started off as a fine fun normal day as usual. The grass smelled fresh, the birds were singing and the pigs were oinking. I was just lying in my bed doing the things I usually do (sleep) until I heard a loud squeal. I got up and ran as fast as I could to the woods with my best friends Bob, Billy and Johnny now known as the straw pig, stick pig and in some stories the steel pig. Actually Johnny wasn’t my best friend he was my brother. Anyway the 4 of us ran to the woods where we heard the sound. We were searching with our super sensitive ears for where the sound came from. We split up me and Johnny searched the west of the forest while Bob and Billy searched the East. Half an hour later we found nothing but the 4 of us met in the dead center of the forest. We could hear lots of bees and it seemed like there was some creepy music but of course there wasn’t. We looked around until we came round a corner to see a dead pig lying in our paths. She was slaughtered like a goat with flies all over her. It smelled like pork ribs and stunk like crazy. We knew the pig. She was in our class. Her name was Patuna. She was in our class but no one really liked her and wished she was dead but for an odd reason we felt weird. She was the goody-goody of the class and would get everything right and be a teachers pet. Well when we saw her we all freaked out and ran away back to our houses, the first thing that came to my mine was gross the 2nd was humans. But then I thought again and said to myself that they would have eaten the pig so instead I knew for sure that it was the wolves. They had been the most terrifying animal I heard of. My god that was the sickest thing I ever saw, a pig with its ribs lying out of it’s body with a missing leg and blood everywhere. Well the mess eventually was decomposed but none of the 4 of us went in the woods by ourselves because we knew what would happen.
About a month later after that the wolves attacked our village of about 100 pigs again. There were thousands of them and everywhere you looked you could see one. Of course me being the hero saved the 4 of us but we weren’t the only survivors. About 50 pigs were killed and slaughtered with their guts and blood everywhere.
This is where the beginning of the story book version starts. Bob, Billy, Johnny and I were staying in the new village of 50 pigs now. Again about 6 months later the pigs attacked us. This time we were prepared though. It was kind of like the battle at Bunker Hill because we lost but more wolves died. Only about 10 pigs were killed. We all hid in trees* and so when the wolves came they thought we had left. So when the wolves came back through the woods we shot arrows and fire balls down at them. We killed a ton of them. You should have seen it, it was great, all the wolves looking confused then a ball of fire was shot down in the middle of them and you hear the sound of gore and then you know it’s war. Then the wolves run away for the first time in their lives and arrows are shot at them and they penetrate through their bodies. Any way it was a bit sick but it felt good to get revenge. 1year later I guess the wolves wanted revenge and they got it because we were not ready but there was only 5 of them. This is where the brick pig, stick, straw and steel pig come in. We saw the wolves coming so we rushed to Billy’s house (sticks). We hid in the house for days without getting out. When we looked out the windows we could see the bushes moving slowly. If we forgot they were out there and walked out and saw a tail or a whisker we would run back in. Of course not all-40 pigs stayed in the house, the other 36 went away somewhere. It was just Billy, Bob, Johnny and I. Even at night the wolves were there and we knew it because we saw a fire and heard talking. For one whole week one of us would stay up and stay on guard for 2 hours and then we would switch every 2 hours. After a week we were forced to make a move. At around 3.00pm we received a letter under a door. It read

“Dear Pigs,
We are giving you till 6 hours from 3.00pm to move out of this house or we will burn it. You may have till 9.00pm to move.

Signed. The wolves”
We were terrified when we heard this. We were thinking of what to do until I being the smartest one thought we should run to Bob’s house (hay).
By 8.00pm we figured out our plan to running and we heard the sound of oil being put on the house buy 10 to 9 we ran and at 9.00pm we saw the house burn down to flames.
The wolves only found out the next morning that we moved. They were furious and starting fighting with each other, it was quite entertaining. Anyway 4 days later we got a message through the door at 3.00pm. It read
“ Dear friend pigs,
We are giving you till 9.00pm tonight to get out of your new house and find someplace else to live or we will flood your house.
Signed. The wolves”

Again we thought for hours and decided to run to my brother Johnny’s house. So at 10 to 9.00pm we ran to Johnny’s house and hid. And again the wolves did not realize until the next morning and got angry with each other. In fact what we thought was funny was they drowned one of their friends accidentally while looking for the dead pig bodies in the house.

* I bet you didn’t know pigs could climb trees. In fact we can’t even fall off them because we’re so good
Now the next day we got a letter through the door that read.
“ Dear good best friend pigs,
Why don’t the 4 of you come out and talk to us about anything? If you don’t we will crush your house with a bulldozer.
Signed. The wolves”

This time we knew we couldn’t run so we thought of something else. We thought that 2 of us could run to my house (brick). So Bob and I ran right when we thought of it. But now we still had to think about what would happen at 9.00pm. We knew we had to talk so we had planned to destroy their bulldozer. So we did. We dismantled the whole thing and now the wolves knew they were in trouble because they couldn’t think of anything but we knew they were mad. Now this was the first time they spoke to us without using a letter. They knew there were two of us in the 2 houses. They said. “ Little pigs Little Pigs let me come in. If you don’t we’ll huff and we will puff and we will blow your house in.” we replied “ Not on the hair of my Chiny chin chin.” So then from 3.00pm-6.00pm we saw them a build a house and blew it down. That was when we became terrified. The wolves knew we were watching so they told us “ That will be your house at 9.00pm tonight.” But at 8.00pm we heard the same sound which was heard just up the road the last 2 nights. It was a boy calling “Wolf, Wolf” I guess the villagers were getting annoyed because they were not coming come out and saying shut up or hitting pitchforks against the doors. So the four wolves ran up the road and ate the boy up. I think that when the villagers heard the screaming of the boy and the growling of the wolves they went out and killed all four wolves. I don’t think we would be alive if it wasn’t for that boy so we would like to thank him and that is the true story of the 3 little pigs.